There have been so many times during this recovery I’ve said “they have no idea who they’re dealing with.” I’m a very stubborn person and will not accept anything less than how I was. Thankfully I have the ability to recover fully. Now, this is horrible to have to deal with, no question. But if anyone could deal with this it’s me. I love making lists and planning; a huge part of this recovery is planning ahead. I was a healthy person before and that’s really helping me now.
I LOVE writing; I was an avid journaler, card writer and I used a planner religiously. I can write, but it’s slow and large and my ataxia makes the pen shake often. I do a lot electronically now.
I really don’t want to be bitter but right now I have to focus on my recovery. People my age are getting married, having kids. I’m genuinely happy for friends, but it’s unbelievably hard. I want that but cannot have it right now. Because of that I’m making choices not because I don’t want to catch up with friends but because it’s like salt in a wound right now.