Warning: a bit of a rant post. I totally understand if you give this a skip. Everyone, EVERYONE has problems. Life is extremely hard and you should always be willing to cut people some slack. So please know when you see me with a big grin, happy and laughing, I’m dealing with shit constantly. This week here’s my emotional and physical pain.
I’ve had this knee pain for like 2 months. Initially I hurt it through over exertion; I was biking a lot more because it’s a safe way to get cardio. It’s gotten better but so slowly. I had an MRI but had to go downtown to Northwestern because my metal head shunt always has to be checked after an MRI, regardless of where the MRI is on my body. So much harder then it should have been but I had it, it showed some inflammation so on Tuesday I had a cortisone shot. It hurt like a bitch (they stick the needle in so far) but it’s already feeling so much better.
Wednesday I had an appointment with a neuro-oncologist. It was an initial get to know you appointment. Back in 2019 my primary recommended I see a neuro-oncologist but at my annual MRI my neuro-surgeon said I didn’t need one. He said that in December 2020 too. But I disagreed; a neuro-oncologist is there to lend support in dealing with processing the new normal and helping you navigate still having a good quality of life. My primary left the practice in December 2020 but recommended a new doctor who I met in April for just a transfer of care appointment and I love her! I brought up the want for a neuro-oncologist, she recommended someone and here we are. I absolutely adore her; it’s a wonderful fit. I wish I’d connected with her sooner. I said “I need this” and she said “I’m your girl.” In classic Logan fashion, I sent her beforehand a write up of my whole journey which she said was very helpful. The first thing she said was “on paper it reads like you’re doing great but I know the day to day is hard and I want to help you.” YES. I cried of course, and at one point she said “I’m so sorry. Can I give you a hug?”
She commented that it’s amazing and a great sign I’m still progressing and haven’t plateaued. I’m still extremely hopeful and know the Logan today isn’t the Logan forever. She said “The downside of our neuro-surgeons is they don’t paint an accurate picture of what to expect. On behalf of our whole department I apologize.”
What an emotional, but great, day.
My oldest and one of my best friend’s daughter is in the hospital with a very serious medical case. She’s improving which is fantastic however it’s the kind of situation she’s not gonna be ready to go home all of a sudden. Oh boy, do I understand how slow recovery is. I just feel so helpless; my friend is amazing all the time but has been so supportive of me in these last 2.5 years.
So yeah. I am in no way asking for sympathy but know we all have shit to deal with ON TOP of trying to manage just regular living life things.